TLE Watches: Kill Bill Vol. 1

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Kill Bill, Quentin Tarantino's return to film, a revenge story split in two parts, and told in chapters, let's see if Tarantino can live up to his classic "Pulp Fiction".

The film opens with the blood splattered bride, her killer?...Bill, she attemps to tell him that she's pregnant with his child, but Bill's fear of children results in him shooting her in the head, or maybe he just didnt care, the important thing is she was shot in the skull.

This is what pregnancy looks like.


Chapter 1 starts, The Bride shows up at Vernita Green's house a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad (I wonder if Cobra Commander is a member), The Bride attacks Vernita and destroys her living room in the process, Vernita's four year old daughter Nikki returns from school, putting a halt on this shindig, Nikki is sent to her room, and the fight begins again!..oh wait no, they go to the kithen for some coffee.

The Bride and Vernita agree to a good old fashion knife fight in the park (just like in my childhood), but Vernita suddenly attempts to shoot The Bride with a gun hidden in a box of Kaboom cereal, but she misses and is killed by a knife thrown by the Bride, Nikki is seen in the doorway having witnessed her mother get knifed, The Bride tells her "Oops, didn't mean to kill your mom in front of you, my bad" (not an exact quote) and that she would be waiting for Nikki if she wishes to avenge her mother's death.


This tastes like blood


Chapter 2 begins, and now it's flashback time, we see the events after the wedding massacre, the Bride is the only survivor, but comatose, Deadly Viper Elle Driver who is now Bill's lover, sneaks into the hospital intending to inject The Bride with poison, but before she can she recieves a phone call from Bill who thinks The Bride deserves a more honorable death.

The Bride is distraught to discover she is no longer pregnant, She escapes the hospital, but not before offing Buck a hospital orderly who has been selling sex to The Bride's body when she was comatose and one of his customers (always make sure they are still comatose) She steals Buck's car keys and hides in the back of his yellow pick-up truck....The Pussy Wagon.


How exactly did Buck get a job at the hospital?


In Chapter 3 we learn of the Origin of O-Ren Ishii another Deadly Viper, while The Bride works her legs out of atrophy. The Bride narrates over an anime....animation.

Anime


O-Ren witness' her parents murder on orders of crime lord, Matsumoto (what an asshole!) O-Ren two years later infiltrates Matsumoto's inner circle because he's a pedophile (EEEW!) she then kills him..brutally...with a sword, O-Ren later becomes an assassin, gaining quite the reputation, she eventually rises to the top of the Yakuza.

Chapter 4 untitled "The Man from Okinawa" begins rollin', The Bride travels to Okinawa to obtain a lightsaber...um I mean Katana from Hatton Hanzo a renowned swordsmith, who has since retired to the life of a sushi chef, a long conversation ensues, next thing you know Hanzo has created the greatest sword he has ever made!, and all she had to do was mention Bill.

This really hurts!

Chapter 5, This chapter starts with a Yakuza party, you know the kind that involve cutting off peoples heads for mentioning your chinese-american heritage, those kind, anyway we are introduced to some mean ol' characters

- Sofie Fatale, friend and lawyer to O-Ren and a former protege of Bill, 
- Gogo Yubari, O-Rens personal bodyguard
- Johnny Mo, leader of O-Ren's personal army, the Crazy 88, one can assume they are called such because they are crazy and there is 88 of them.


Typical Yakuza party.


The Bride finds O-Ren at "The House of Blue Leaves" and begins severing body parts like it's going out of style (it'll never go out of style)


Where's Waldo?


O-Ren and The Bride have a showdown, The Bride eventually scalpes O-Ren and takes the badly wounded Fatale and dumps here at a hospital, The Bride learns through Fatale the locations of the remaining Deadly Vipers, She tells Sofie to inform Bill that she is setting out to kill the remaining Vipers, and Bill himself, the movie ends with The Bride writing her death list, and Bill asking Sofie if The Bride knows her daughter is still alive (TWIST!).

Overall a fun and stylistic movie, the kind only Tartino can deliver, a bit heavy on dialogue at times (the sushi scene), but enough slice and dice action for everyone.

3 out of 4 severed arms.

1 - Bad

2 - Ok

3 - Good

4- Great

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